I actually believe you. I don't know about gays, but the military is a great leveler when it comes to color. Nowadays, I suspect that it is the same with gay people.
A funny story. In my office of engineers, I had a number of military people. And one thing I know is that when you have a group of military, they tend to reach out to the new guy and bring the along. I had a black Major assigned. The first thing he did is put up a poster that I thought was black-centric, but hey, it was his cube. I assume the other military guys reached out to him, but he shunned them. Didn't even try to fit in and had a big chip on his shoulder. His work wasn't great, and he was given a project by my boss to work on, which he managed to screw up. So when his rating came due - I had the AF "adjective" handbook and I used the middlin' words to describe his efforts. He just had a freaking fit and accused me of trying to destroy his career, complained to my boss (his secondary rater) who was not impressed with him either. I always felt that he had been passed along in his career and filled someone's quota. He was about the 4th graduate of Howard University that I had supervised and every time I was less than impressed.
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