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LifeTime Laker
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You may have seen this already
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Date:
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4/30/2004 11:05:04 AM
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but I am the CEO of the VRWC so i feel compelled to post it.
It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone-"to relax," I told myself-but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time. I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself. I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?" Things weren't going so great at home either. One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother's. I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss called me in. He said, "Skippy, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job." This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking." "I know you've been thinking," She said, "and I want a divorce!" "But Honey, surely it's not that serious." "It is serious," She said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as college professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking we won't have any money!" "That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began to cry. I'd had enough. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door. I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche, with NPR on the radio. I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big glass doors. They didn't open. The library was closed. To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night. As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked. You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinker's Anonymous poster. Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video. Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting. I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just seemed... easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking. Soon, I will be able to vote Democrat.
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Rickiray
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You may have seen this already
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4/30/2004 11:40:29 AM
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That is very funny, but actually the last line would make more sense if it said "republican". After all, we know all the great philosophers, college professors and NPR loyalists are democrats. Makes you "think", doesn't it?
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EPK
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You may have seen this already
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Date:
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4/30/2004 12:45:17 PM
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Thats all very special. And tomorrow we'll go to the zoo.
Sorta got that non-thinking feeling myself right now. Just got back from lunch at Hooters. 'Nuf said.
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lakebum
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I like it just AS IS
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4/30/2004 1:00:26 PM
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alahusker
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VRWC
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Date:
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5/4/2004 10:46:47 AM
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Dear CEO,
Just visited your website and am positively impressed... in fact it made my 'favorits' list. As a retired B-52 pilot (currently a local homebuilder) I am interested in any job your organization might have available....
Regards, Burke
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Sorry Burke, it was not my intent to decieve when I chose the moniker of CEO of VRWC. I did not even know such an organization excisted. After seeing your post I did visit their site, and like you enjoyed the little of it that read. I too have put it in favorites for later reading. The essay on race was VERY good.
I chose my moniker as a joke to mean the CEO of The VAST RIGHT WING CONSPIRACY, a term coined by HRC on the Today show years ago to define the impeachment of her husband. The website is probably founded on the same premise. It has become a fairly common term in conservative circles. I wondered how long it would be before someone asked what VRWC is.
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