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roswellric
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Subject: |
Give us a break Sally
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Date:
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3/21/2006 9:18:06 AM
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If you've learned to speak fluent English, you must be a genius! This little treatise on the lovely language we share is only for the brave. Pursue at your leisure, English lovers.
Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:
1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The farm was used to produce produce. 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. 4) We must polish the Polish furniture. 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out. 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. 7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present. 8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. 10) I did not object to the object. 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. 13) They were too close to the door to close it. 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present. 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail. 18) After a number of injections my jaw got number. 19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear. 20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. 21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea or is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
We ca ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
We have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?
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Name: |
joyrider
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Subject: |
Give us a break Sally
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Date:
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3/21/2006 9:29:37 AM
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I enjoyed this,...... but did I miss something? Has Sally been acting up again and did I miss her post?
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Name: |
roswellric
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Subject: |
Give us a break Sally
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Date:
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3/21/2006 9:32:04 AM
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Not particularly although I think she took another alias ( if she is a "she")
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Lakeman
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Subject: |
Give us a break Sally
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Date:
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3/21/2006 9:42:11 AM
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I really loved this Roawell. I wish Sally would pop up again and contribute. My only pet peeve with the use of the english language has nothing to do with spelling or punctuation. I don't understand how someone can go through highschool and college and not know the difference between ; there, their, they're and your, you're. There are more but these are the most common. Now let's ( let us ) kick some butt over the english language. Peace.
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But that does involve spelling and/or punctuation..... I think most folks know the difference, but it's easy to overlook when your, I mean you're (or is it they're) typing quickly on a forum; their...oops....there, I'm done.
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Name: |
GoneFishin
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Subject: |
BUICK AND QUICK
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Date:
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3/21/2006 12:03:15 PM
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GREAT POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
""P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?""
Cause Quick rhymes with Brick. Guess the Romans decided to rhyme them before GM decided to sell Buicks.
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And why doesn't "daughter" rhyme with "laughter"?
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JIM
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Subject: |
Quick & Buick
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Date:
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3/21/2006 2:36:24 PM
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Spell live backwards and see what you get, intresting.
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Name: |
GoneFishin
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Subject: |
Daughter and Laughter
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Date:
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3/21/2006 2:42:11 PM
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Daughter and laughter may not rhyme but daughter rhymes with quarter and laughter rhymes with rafter!!!!!!!!
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Name: |
Lakeman
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Subject: |
Ahhh
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Date:
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3/22/2006 7:29:26 AM
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Tiz true grasshopper.
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Name: |
longtimer
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Subject: |
Give us a break Sally
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Date:
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3/23/2006 12:53:41 AM
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They're/there/their is one big one that this forum has particular trouble with. You're/your is another, as is it's/its/its'. (The latter form isn't proper at all, by the way.) And of course, let's not forget too/to.
But the one that absolutely flabbergasts me, the one that has nothing to do with grammar or punctuation, is one that crops up here far too often; it's amazing, but true: there are some posters here who have "want" and "wont" confused. It's not carelessness when the wrong word is used every single time; it's ignorance.
Note to the ignorant: "WANT" means "desire"; "WON'T" means "will not." Is that too hard to understand?
URL: SaveLakeMartin
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Name: |
Lakeman
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Subject: |
Give us a break Sally
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Date:
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3/23/2006 7:59:53 AM
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Longtimer I banged my head trying to remember the other abused words but all my other activity got in the way. You are exactly right. Constant missuse is not innocent mistakes but just ignorance. If you don't know just ask your kids. It is the intent in schools not to teach our history but is the ?bonics also destroying our proper use of the english langusge?
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